I may have lost my way, in more ways than one.
I began this blog as a way of sharing my experiences as a teacher with others, especially teachers. Not many people are full time theatre teachers in an urban high school like where I work but many teachers have the same struggles, the same bureaucratic bull that simultaneously angers us and breaks our hearts. There are many teacher blogs out there, but still not enough support of teachers, so I thought I’d add mine in.
I also thought this blog could be a way of sharing resources for anyone who may be teaching my subject or may want to add it to what they do in their academic subject. Ha ha. Where did I get off thinking I was going to be an expert? I have been teaching nine years but this is only my third as a theatre teacher. I stumbled into some successful projects my first two years, but this last semester has not been successful. That is just honesty. I haven’t had many great ideas to start with, have gone about things wrong, and don’t have many resources to show and share for it. And as less of justification, and more to hopefully connect to and ease someone else’s woes, I will explain. I have been suffering and battling anxiety and depression for almost a decade now. That’s when I start counting but I’m sure if I looked back…
Some times as teachers we hold ourselves up so high. We are moral guiders, support for 100+ needy students who often don’t get what they need anywhere else but in school, and we are educators. We want to see growth and knowledge in skills and see successes in our students and do it is engaging ways. Make it so fun they don’t see how hard they are working.
But sometimes we are human, not a super human educator and sometime we are lacking. Sometimes we are cranky to students. Sometimes we are underprepared and uninspired. Sometimes we crumble in the face of challenges.
If we don’t get fired, which, if we love our jobs and still care, we mostly likely will not, we get to try again. Right now we have the excuse of “THE NEW YEAR” and the closing of a marking period is approaching and for some a switch in semester course. For many teaching in a lifelong calling and we can dust ourselves off and try again. I have been beating myself up for not being awesome at nine years. Whatever, I’m a slow learner. I’m ok with that. I’m doing good things.
The approach of the new semester, which for me means new classes and new semester feels as though it could literally save my life. As I begin to do projects that I am more proud of and are more successful, I hope to share even better resources for teachers in all subject areas.